Bullying is wrong…
and a subject many shy away from. Does your child’s school have an anti-bullying policy? Do you know what it says? Is it discussed during your parent and teacher’s conference?
I recently performed a presentation on bullying. I began my presentation with “When it stops being funny or fun, it’s time to stop.”
I’m not writing this to stop kids from having fun, but to bring awareness to having a conversation with your child about words to refrain from using. Teasing, name-calling, or words about someone’s appearance, ethnicity, disability, or religion may be sensitive matters to families. Oftentimes, children don’t know when they’ve crossed the line. When it stops being fun or funny, it’s time to stop.
Children love to have fun and tease their friends. I’ve heard parents say, “but they’re just kids having fun.” Yet, there are many newsworthy incidents where families have lost loved ones because of that thought, “having fun or it was a joke.” Usually, it’s the continuous bully behavior that results in emotional distress, sadness, fear or death of a loved one.
The internet, social media and…
any form of communication or behavior that humiliates, degrades, or embarrass another student isn’t an act of kindness. A person who bullies may be crying out for help.
Bullying is a cry for help.
Bullies are those who may be experiencing problems at home, depressed, or experiencing emotional trauma themselves. The way they get through it, is to transfer their emotions onto someone else. They may be hurting; therefore, they hurt others. Also, there are those who seek popularity or inclusion into a group. They want to be revered, respected, or simply imitating what they’re experiencing in their lives. There are many forms of bullying and characteristics attributed to it.
Children may not fully grasp their actions of teasing or making fun of others can lead to a serious problem. Many kids feel the child on the receiving end should toughen up. What if they can’t and want it to stop? What if the words they’re hearing are words being said at home. For example, “Loser.” Understanding why children bully may be the first step in getting to the root cause of the problem. Learning what bullying is and discovering a remedy to this problem is the first step towards prevention. The key is identifying bullying behavior and offering immediate assistance.
Emotions of despair and feeling alone
I remember I was bullied. I didn’t know who to talk to or if I could. I felt alone. I knew fighting back would result in suspension, so I took the hit and said nothing. I didn’t know how to deal with bullying. It only happened one time, but what if it happened more than once. Many kids fear going to school because of physically being harmed or continuous “name calling” or embarrassment. Many school’s have implemented an “anti-bullying policy” which every parent should be familiar with and make sure their child is aware of what isn’t tolerated at their school.
Anti-bullying policy
Ask your child’s school if they have an anti-bullying policy as to how to prevent bullying. See what protections are in place to protect your child from bullying. Also, have family discussions about teasing and making fun of others, especially “how far is too far” when it leads to a person feeling humiliated, intimidated, or sad.
Effects of bullying can result in your child not wanting to go to school, failing grades, anger, or spiraling downward for reasons you may not understand. Bullying or being bullied may be the cause.
Suggestions and tips:
Children use their phone for almost everything! When your kid is on the internet, social media, or texting, take a look to see what was posted. I encourage you to do this and not wait for a phone call from a parent or meeting with the principal to find out your child was bullied or is the bully. Communicate with other parents and create a buddy system to see if other parents are experiencing any issues with their child or at school. Seek help from your town’s community leaders and advocates to help prevent and stop bullying at your child’s school.
Build your home library with books of empowerment, diversity, and the ability to walk away from danger or negative behavior exhibited by others. Encourage your child to speak up and say something.
Education / Training / Resources on bullying
There may be organizations and resources available. I have committed to tour schools to talk to students about bullying with hopes of preventing the continuation of this issue. Together we can do something and it must begin NOW.
